Taking Steps

I quit smoking on Monday and I’ve lost the ability to think, write and speak…

Otherwise, I feel pretty great about it.

Prior to Monday, I took frequent cigarette breaks when I wrote. Cigarettes helped me relax. I always got “unstuck” in my writing during a smoking break.

Today, four days after I’ve quit, I feel like there’s a big void in the writing process. I feel handicapped.

But despite my discomfort, I’m proud of myself. I’ve smoked a pack of cigarettes every day for the past 10 years and quitting is one of the toughest but most important things I have ever done.

Granted, I was dumb to start smoking in the first place, but I’m feeling good about my self for taking this step. And I’m using this newfound sense of empowerment to take another life step - to learn to write about myself.

When I first learned I needed to blog throughout the semester, I freaked. What the hell was I going to write about?

I’ve been a lot like Zinsser’s journalist friend. I’ve spent my adult life writing about other people, places and things. I’ve written about hundreds if not thousands of subjects outside of my self.

But ironically, I read books about other people’s lives more than any other genre. I love memoirs. I love reading about other people’s struggles and how they overcame them. I like observing how they grew as individuals. I love hearing the authors dirty little secrets and intimate details.

Most of all, I love feeling connected. When I read a good memoir I realize that I have a lot in common with others.

I’m grateful others have shared their stories and their stories have helped me.

I’m seeing that we help each other by sharing our stories and that every writer has something to offer from within, even a journalist.

So through this revelation, I’m going to try and share some of my own life through this blog. For some reason, it scares me and makes me feel more uncomfortable than quitting smoking.

Why that is, I’m not sure.

Maybe I don’t want others to have an intimate look into my life. Or maybe, I don’t want to take a close look into my own life. Either way, writing about the self isn’t easy for me but I know in the long run, if I get through it, it’s going to be good for me.